Home Field Advantage 10-11-2012

Home Field Advantage

We’ve dug out some tips for having company over to watch America’s favorite pastime.

While the end of the regular season is a sad time for the majority of the American and National League teams, for the select few who didn’t drop the ball after the all-star break, postseason is officially in full swing. And while we can all dream of having suite tickets throughout the pennant races, let’s face it, it’s a bit of a stretch. For the majority of the games, at the very least, you will wind up watching them forlorn, but comfortably, on your recliner. However, just as you’re realizing you finished the last of the cheetos, we hope you take this moment as a sign. Discussing how a certain player weighs more than their batting average is indefinitely more fun with friends. After all, we wouldn’t want you to get caught looking (at yourself festooned in team colors all by your lonesome, that is).

And because of that, we’re happy to walk you through your inner monologue:

Right off the bat, you’ll need to organize the roster. It’s always good to have a ballpark figure of how many attendees. Note to self, don’t invite <insert cross-talking friends name here> because <insert really intense sport fanatic friends who is constantly checking his fantasy team stats name here> will be less than pleased.

• It’s probably best to clean up your fridge a bit too. After all, the scent of last week’s Chinese food is starting to linger.  And, more importantly, you’ll need ample room for beverages.  With that, it’s now time for a short stop to purchase said libations. After all, hydration is key in any sport.

• And then it dawns on you; these people will want to eat. While a mound of chips may have worked in the past, after four hours, you’ll just have angry guests fighting each other for the right to lick the salsa jar clean. While it may make for a great YouTube video, throw them a curve ball by firing up that grill. Plus, it’s about time you tried out that wing recipe from Esquire.

• While the ever faithful solo cups and paper plates stand at the ready, let’s use some more mature supplies. You know, the ones that are breakable and your mother insisted on buying you because she had a 20% off coupon to Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Once you are finally ready to sit down with your closest pals and enjoy Americana at its finest, try to remember one last thing; Be a sport. Yes, the team that you absolutely can’t stand happens to be winning, but buck up. If there’s anything to be peeved about, it’s that they make more money in one year than you’ll ever see in your lifetime. While this may be a sobering fact, always remember the wise words of Jimmy Dugan.

Now, play ball.

[Additional comments for the novice spectator: If your knowledge of the game doesn’t extend beyond “Baby Ruth“, don’t worry. We’ve got you covered too. Remember to, at the very least, look up who’s playing. And when all else fails, quoting multiple sport movies will help more than you know. After all, without “The Mighty Ducks”, who knows how ridiculous we’d sound watching hockey.]

TAGS: BAseball | Bed Bath and Beyond | cheetos | libations | postseason | recliner | Salsa | The Mighty Ducks | Tom Hanks

Sort by: Newest | Oldest
or to comment

Create an account

Sorry, we're not accepting comments on this article anymore.

No comments yet.